Ten Things I Bet You Never Knew About Me.

I have this amazing cousin who inspires me more than she well ever know even though I tell her all the time.

She recently blogged about getting to know people.  I was so inclined  to then share with you some things in the Deep Dark Vault of Myself.  Some of the long kept secrets I am not proud of, but we all have those kinds of secrets I suppose.

This is not something that I do lightly. I have prayed about it for days. God has reminded me that "We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Rom 3:23

Also this is not a brag fest or a pity party it is just a piece of my heart that has been kept under lock and key and then thrown into the deepest part of the sea.

OK... So here goes nothing.  These are in not particular order either

1.  I carry a concealed weapon with me at all times.  I know, I know.  But my life and the lives of my loved ones are worth protecting.

2. I am a perfectionist to a flaw.  I want everything perfect all the time.  House, kids, generally my life.  Thank you God for 6 kids who really have taught me to just let some things go because they are just not worth the heartache.  Relationships are what is most important.

3.  My bra and pantie combo almost always match each other, and they always match my outfit.  You never know if or when you might pass out and the paramedics are called. How ghastly it would be to get caught not matching.

4.  Out of the 50 cousins I have on both sides of my family, I have no cousin my age.  They are all at least a year older or younger. Crazy I know.

5.  I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, wish I had blue eyes.  I don't know why but for some reason I do.

6.  I have tried to commit suicide more than once.  I had to spend a week in a treatment center and a year of therapy.

7. I have been diagnosed with Serious Clinical Depression.  Spent several years on  mood stabilizing medications.

8.  My marriage has survived depression, a motorcycle accident, addictions, and affairs.

9.  I wake feeling like a failure as a woman, wife and mother pretty much everyday of my life.

10.  I am a closet Goth.  I always love the goth look but out of love and respect for my wonderful Nana won't dress that way when I am with family or anyone that knows my family.

OK so now you know some things about me that not even my own mother knows.  I am sure that there are more but I can't think of any right now. 

By the grace of God, I am no longer on medicine or suffering from the severe side effects of my illness, that I do deal with on a daily basis.  But I have overcome many of the obstacles that it has put in my path.  It is by constant faith and trust in God that my life, marriage and family have stood strong and made it through the many heartaches.  I hope that my sharing these deep dark secrets inspires you to be more open and honest with the ones that you love.  Vulnerability is a strength not a weakness.

Thanks for stopping by.