The Story Continues (part 1)

So where were we in this wonderful story.

Found out I was suffering from depression, finally found a medicine that was working, and found out I'M PREGNANT!!

OK, so don't fall over the story is just getting good.

So after the home pregnancy test came out positive, I called the Doctor immediately. Of course he wanted to do a blood test to make sure it was not a false positive, so I went in right away. We found out later that afternoon that I was in fact pregnant.

Duh, I think I already knew that.

So now to make sure that the anti-depressant that I am taking is acceptable for pregnancy. So I went into see my mental health doctor, this was the worst day of my life thus far. She told me to abort the baby because I was not mentally stable enough to have an other baby. Well that was encouraging, I left feeling more depressed than when I first met her, that was not a good feeling. Because I was so upset I immediately went to my family doctor to see what he thought. I was completely taken back when he gave me the same advice. I didn't know what to do. I cried the entire rest of the drive home.

By the time I got home, my eyes were red and puffy, and my make-up was gone. Funny part of this is that my doctors office was less then 5 minutes away, seriously I could have walked home and probably should have. When I told Chris what the doctors had advised he said what all wonderful husbands say, "This is your decision I can't make it for you," I could have killed him for saying that. I really needed him, I know he was trying to be supportive and there is no possible way that you could have answered me. I am sure I would have freaked out no matter what he said, but he was right, I alone had to make this decision. I laid down in my bed, curled up in a little ball and cried myself to sleep. I was awaken by the cry of a baby and burst into tears. It was time to feed Caesi, boy how I wished I wasn't nursing, I balled the entire I time I fed her. Through my tears I examined this tiny bundle of perfection I was holding in my arms I knew with out a doubt I could not abort the tiny bundle of perfection I was carrying inside me.

Of course this decision meant that the road I was waling down was not going to be an easy one...