A Break From the Story

It seems as though this blog, which is really a journey into my soul, has turned out to be the place where I want to share anything and everything that it seems women today are so afraid to talk about.

Why is it that we (women) feel like we must deal with so much all alone?  What has happened to the close knit communities of "Little House on the Prairie" years when women shared their troubles?
Or the "I Love Lucy" years, with women's clubs, bridge games, or mid-morning coffee when all the women still had curlers in their hair?

Oh, how I long for that kind of closeness.  Why should we not share so that others can benefit from our experiences and not have to go through the pain or fear of those that have already gone through it.

So for today I will be taking a break from my story through depression and talk about something that is a little more pressing in my life right now.

My most recent trouble is one that is probably more common than any of us would care to admit.  About three weeks ago I found a small lump in my breast.  And as any good woman does, I didn't tell anyone but my husband, but I debated even telling him.  I also shared the information with my two oldest daughters. I am constantly telling them to check their own breast if for no other reason but to just know what they feel like so that they will know when something is wrong.  In fact every time I open my mouth about it with them I get the oh so wonderful teenage daughter sigh and eye roll along with the classic teenage daughter response, "I know Mom." 

OK so back to the story.  Over the next two weeks I didn't ignore it but I also didn't really deal with it.  Of course I checked every day, three or ,four times a day, I don't know why it was like I was checking to make sure it was still there or something.  Silly I know.


Well yesterday I finally went to the Dr.  You know the one, they have the most comfortable paper shirts, I don't know why I don't just bring it home with me after I use it.  I feel so bad for that Dr. the only plus to their job is that they get to see a lot of babies.

The appointment went well but of course they can't tell me anything until they do more test. So now the fun really begins. A mammogram and ultrasound hopefully that will offer more answers but for not it is a waiting game and a lots and lots of prayer.  I sometimes catch myself praying for the lump to disappear just as suddenly as it appeared, but then I get back to reality and remember that He is in control and His will be done. 

So I ask for you all to pray with me over this next month as I continue to go through test. Ask God to please give me strength and peace.

Anyway thanks for listening.